MotherlyBlessingsInMyLife: A Poem For My Youngest Daughter

Saturday, April 5, 2014

A Poem For My Youngest Daughter

June 1999

Today, April 5, 2014, is the two year anniversary of dissolving my youngest daughter's adoption. I miss her everyday and it is so hard to live life without her. I wish so much that I could tell her how blessed I feel to have had her in my life. Since I can't tell her what I want to, I have written the following poem in her memory as I have not seen her since April 5, 2012.

To My Baby Girl, My Daughter

I can still remember that beautiful warm June day

I got the phone call while at work to say

A sister to my son which was you had been born

And from your birth mother you had been torn

I was in shock, disbelief and overwhelmed with joy

Never thought I would have another child than just my boy

I remember your struggles with being born addicted

The pain, the withdrawal to which your were afflicted

My love for you was real and true from the start

The moment I saw you, you stole my heart

I tried to help you heal from your physical pains

But it took so long for you to make gains

I remember that day in October at 4 months when I nearly lost you

An ambulance ride to the hospital while your color was blue

I remember praying to God to not take you away

You were my baby girl and I wanted you to stay

Through the years I tried so hard to help you heal

But the damage that was done was so deep and unreal

I tried every way I knew to help you feel safe and trust

I had to accept after several years to let go of you I must

To accept and trust in God that he knew best

That my heart and soul just like yours had been put through a test

You will always be my baby girl and daughter

My love for you will never end, stray or falter

I say goodbye for now and pray every single day

That God will watch over you and find a loving home where you can stay

Below are some pictures I want to include of the time I was blessed with my youngest daughter in my life.

December 1999

December 2001

Kindergarten

Girl Scouts

4th Grade Field Trip

Yellowstone National Park July 2009

Disneyland August 2009

Cross Country Skiing February 2010

Below is the last picture I got of my daughter before I dissolved her adoption. It is her school picture. I am so proud of the beautiful young lady she is becoming. I thank God every day for blessing me with my baby girl....

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My First Blessing

"Stinker Poo" is my oldest daughter who was my only blessing for 14 years. She had to endure being raised by a single parent and put up with all of my crazy yearnings for another baby. She is very quick witted and has never ceased to amaze me with her humor. She has a love of reading which definitely did not come from me. She has always taken her education seriously and worked hard at learning. She graduated high school as Valedictorian, got her BS from Texas A&M and her Master's from Univeristy of Texas at Dallas. She is currently teaching full-time and is working on her PhD. She is married and has followed her love of learning and teaches. From the day she was born she inspired me and she continues to be my inspiration each day.

My Second Blessing

"Bubba Doo" is my oldest son and the blessing I was afraid I would never have. After a miscarriage, failed third marriage, 13 unsuccessful inseminations and a failed legal risk foster placement I was thrilled to be able to foster Bubba Doo for his first 30 days of life. What started out to be a 30 day foster care stay turned into a six month stay. I was able to adopt him when he was 8 months old. He is the miracle that I thought I might never have. He is a joy to be around, loves hockey and football (especially the Utes) and always has a smile on his face.

My Third Blessing

"Ya Ya" is my youngest daughter. She has the same birth mom as Bubba Doo. I was so thrilled to learn that after so many years of wanting another child that I would now have two more children. Ya Ya had a rough start and had to overcome health and developmental delays. She has an incredible internal strength and I have learned the most from her. She has taught me to view life differently and to realize what is really important. She loves Littlest Pet Shops and Justin Bieber. She continues to amaze me with her strength and fortitude.

My Fourth Blessing

"Bugga Boo" is my youngest son and my baby. He was born at 36 weeks and weighed 5 lbs 13 ounces just like his oldest sister. He also shares Bubba Doo's and Ya Ya's birth Mom. I never in a million years anticipated that I would ever get a 4th blessing. Bugga Boo is a very smart boy. He loves Legos, transformers and building things. He can be quick to anger but also has a quick wit. Of all my blessings, he is the funniest and I never know what will come out of his mouth next. He has taught me that there is always room to love one more and I cannot imagine my life without him.