An Email to the US Department of Justice

The following email was sent to the US Department of Justice on December 12, 2012:

Vincent,

I was given your name by a friend who was at the meeting that was held in Salt Lake City today.  I was told you were interested in hearing from other families who have adopted children and were not able to get the needed mental health services for their children.  I am a single mother who has been a foster parent for the State of Utah and I have adopted three siblings who were each born addicted to heroin.  I fostered each child prior to adopting them from the Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS).  I adopted my oldest son in 1999 and then was contacted by DCFS when the next two children were born as I was told that DCFS tries to keep siblings together.  My youngest two children have been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, Cognitive disorder and my daughter also has a Generalized Seizure disorder and developmental delays.  I adopted my youngest daughter in June 2000 and was forced to place her back into foster care on August 24, 2010, due to safety issues in my home and to protect my other two children from her aggression.  My youngest son was adopted in September 2004 and was placed in foster care on December 28, 2011, due to safety issues in my home and intentional harm he had caused to our family pets which resulted in the death of one of our pets.  After 20 months of dealing with DCFS, it became apparent that I was in a NO WIN situation.  I became physically sick and was hospitalized in February 2012.  On April 5, 2012, I relinquished my parental rights to my two youngest children.  I have not seen either of my two children since that day in court. 

I still have their older brother who is my 14 year old son.  This has been a devastating loss for our family.  What I found was that the Child Welfare System (Juvenile Judge, Guardian Ad Litem, Assistant Attorney General, DCFS) wanted to blame me and make me the problem rather than addressing the needs of my children and providing the help they needed.  I was told I was unstable because I cried in court.  I was told in December that the Guardian /ad Litem would only allow DCFS supervised visits.  The reason I was given for supervised visits is that I had cried in court in front of my children and I was told it was inappropriate to cry in front of them.  I was told I could not have phone calls with my children because there was no way for DCFS to monitor the calls.  I am not a drug addict.  I am not abusive or neglectful.  I love my children very much and did everything I could to help them and to advocate for them.  My children had Medicaid as well as being covered on my insurance with work and I still could not get them residential care.  I was advised by the DCFS Post Adopt worker and the Post Adopt committee that the only resource I had was foster care.  So I followed the advice I was given by the DCFS Post Adopt worker and the Post Adopt committee, only to find myself being charged with Abandonment in August 2010, when my daughter had been hospitalized at University Neuropsychiatric Institute after trying to kill her little brother.  I was in a no win situation then too because if I took my daughter home and she injured or killed one of her brothers, I would be charged with "Failure to Protect" and if I didn't take her home then I would be charged with "Abandonment."   As a parent it was a heart wrenching decision, but felt I had to refuse to take her home so that Children's Protective Services would get involved and my daughter could get the help she needed and that I was unable to get as her adoptive parent.

I would be happy to meet with you and can provide any information or documentation you may need regarding my situation.  I have lost two children and am having to deal with that grief everyday.  My son has lost his siblings and is dealing with this as well as the loss of his biological family.  I pray for the day when the Child Welfare System will provide traumatized children the needed mental health services instead of forcing adoptive parents to place their children back into foster care.  I was blamed for trauma my children had endured before even being placed in my home.  I did everything I could to help them, but I was not responsible for their early trauma.  To have to place a child with Trauma and Reactive Attachment Disorder back into foster care after they have been adopted is not doing what is in that child's best interest.  I pray for the day all children get the permanency they need and deserve.  Please let me know if there is anyway I can help advocate so that other families don't have to go through what my family has gone through.

Sincerely,

A Mother Who Has Lost Two of Her Blessings.....