My First Perfect Blessing

My first perfect blessing happened before I could even grasp what I was about to enter.  I remember my excitement like it was yesterday.  The preganancy test I bought at the local drug store, unsure that I would even be able to follow the directions due to my nervousness.  That was 29 years ago and the tests weren't as easy as the home pregnancy tests today.  I remember feeling like it was Christmas morning while I waited in anticipation to read the result.  Wow!  It was a positive.  I was going to be a Mom.  There was a new life inside of me.  This was the happiest I have ever been.  I could not believe that I was really going to be a Mom.  I was elated and really glad that I had nine months to prepare.  I had so much to learn and do to get ready for my new arrival.  Life was the best.  I knew my life could not get any better.  I was happily married to my soulmate and we were expecting our first child.

I immediately made my first obstetritian appointment.  I also found out about a local La Leche league meeting.  I wanted to do everything I could to insure that my baby would be healthy.  I also knew I wanted to breastfeed.  I did not have to think about it.  I knew it was what was best for the baby, so I set out to learn all I could.  I read every book I could get my hands on regarding pregnancy and birth.  I had always loved babies and had wanted to be a Mom since I was four years old.  I was the ripe old age of twenty six and for my family I was an older Mom.  My mother, grandmother and aunts had all been teenage mothers.  I have two younger sisters and neither of them were mothers.  I wanted to be the BEST Mom I could be.  I knew there was a little life that was depending on me.  I had to be the PERFECT Mom for my little baby.

The first thing I learned on this journey was that no amount of preparing had really prepared me at all.  Labor for me started unexpectedly as my water broke.  In a panic, I called my doctor's office and was told to get to the hospital.  The hospital was a good thirty minutes away and my husband was an hour away.  So I grabbed a towel, my suitcase and drove myself to the hospital sitting on that towel the whole way.  The only experience I had with childbirth was scenes from movies or TV shows.  My husband and I hadn't even finished our Lamaze classes.  So as I drove on I-610, I imagined I would be screaming, my guts ripping out and I would have to pull over and deliver on the freeway.  My anxiety was high but I told myself my baby was counting on me and I had to get to that hospital.  I remember singing to the radio to try and calm myself.  Everytime I would take a breath, I could feel more water leaking.  OMG, how much water could there be?  I felt like I had been swimming in Galveston and was now riding home in my wet bathing suit only I hadn't been to Galveston and I was not wearing a bathing suit.   Was it possible for the baby to slide out while I was driving?  Could I be one of those woman who coughed and the baby was out?  Please dear God don't let the baby come out while I am driving!!

After thirty nerve wracking minutes, I arrived at the hospital.  Initially I was so relieved.  I had done it.  My baby was counting on me and I had driven us both to the hospital safe and sound.  As soon as I got out of the car, I realized that my water continued to leak with each step I took.  This could not be.  I had made it this far.  Seriously...... I had a soaked towel, wet pants and now water running down into my shoes.  With tears in my eyes and my hands shaking from nerves, I took a deep breath and started my journey to Labor and Delivery.  The more I walked, the more my water leaked and with every step I took my shoes were squeaking from the water.  How could my shoes be so loud?  All I wanted to do was get to L&D as discreetly as I could and I was positive that the whole hopsital could hear me coming down the hall.  I told myself this did not matter and what mattered was getting to L&D.   So I did what any scared, first time Mom would do.  I broke out crying as I squeaked all the way down the hall to L&D.

My baby was born four weeks early, after 24 hours of labor.  So much for my PERFECT idea of childbirth.  I had not even imagined that I would deliver my baby early.  Everyone had told me first babies are late.  Not my baby.  I think we were both really excited to see each other.  My pregnancy was Perfect and I was the happiest I had ever been in my life.  To get to see my little miracle four weeks early was ok with me.  I was worried at first wondering if the baby would be ok.   Would the baby be able to breathe and not need extra help?  Once my baby was delivered and I knew everything was ok, I could relax and enjoy my new journey into motherhood.

I will never forget the first time I saw my daughter.  She was small, crying and had a full head of black hair.  She was beautiful.  She was PERFECT.  I had done it.  I had made it through my preganancy, drove myself to the hospital in labor and did what I needed to do so that my daughter could have a PERFECT start in life.  As the nurse placed my daughter in my arms for the first time, I cried again.  This time my tears were tears of joy.  Tears of wonderment and overwhelming emotion.  God had blessed me with the most PERFECT blessing of all, my daughter April......