Encouraging Words from My Friends Jenny and Emily

I have been feeling really down and trying to make sense out of my life.  How can I make sense out of relinquishing my parental rights.  I know things happen for a reason and I do trust that God has a purpose for all that happens.  However at times it feels overwhelming and like I just can't make sense out of any of it.  Then in one of my lowest moments when I find myself doubting what I know to be true in my heart I got an email from a friend.

My friend Jenny wrote "You didn't give your children up, you put them where they would best survive.  You knew this world was not going to help them and would eventually eat them alive.  If somebody else wants to step forward to the same lesson that you learned then it will be for their good.  I believe that you have learned to love in ways that others will never be able to understand.  You still love under some of the harshest of circumstances.  I believe your two difficult children are teachers, not learners.  I believe they came to live the lives they are living for a reason.  I believe they have been placed where they are placed to teach those who need their lessons.  The final test will be death; when we have to give total control back to God as we allow him to take that last breath from us.  Take care of yourself and keep marching forward to help others, because dear sweet lady, that is what you were created for."

That same day after I read this email, my friend Emily commented to me that she was so grateful I was in her life.  It is funny how just when we think our lives don't matter or that we can't figure out what our purpose is, God makes sure to put someone in our lives to remind us.

To both of my friends, Jenny and Emily, you both will never know how much your kind words mean to me.  Just when I was struggling with defeat you both were there to remind me that I do matter and that I do have a purpose. I can never begin to Thank You both.  I know in time, this will make sense and the loss of my children will be for a greater purpose.

You are both true friends and I am forever grateful for your friendship and that our lives have crossed.  I know that you both understand my struggles as a parent.  I am grateful to God for the journey I am on and for allowing me to meet you both.  I just hope that someday I can do for you what you both have done for me.  You gave me the strength to look deep into myself and to know that I can trust God.