A Mother's Neverending Grief

 

Sitting here just thinking about life.  No I am not at home.  I am sitting on the bus on my way to get groceries.  All of a sudden there is that heavy feeling in my chest. That feeling you get when someone
you love is gone. I have a lump in my throat and tears are welling up in my eyes.  I miss them so much.   I try not to. I remind myself I must move on. I had no choice. I had to let them go.   I hate that I had to make that choice.  What will it take for our children with Reactive Attachment Disorder to be able to get the help they need?  How many more children will loose their permanency?  How many more parents will be forced to have to dissolve an adoption even when their heart isn't in it?  How many more families will be torn apart?  Finally two tears roll down my cheeks.  One for YaYa and one for Bugga Boo.  I miss them so much.   I brush those tears away and remind myself I must move on....    but my heart always says I love them and I miss them dearly.....