MotherlyBlessingsInMyLife: A Broken Promise

Thursday, November 5, 2015

A Broken Promise

November is National Adoption Month. This month is used to create awareness of children that are in foster care and are waiting to be adopted. Children that are looking for their forever family. Then parents who decide to adopt are so full of hope. The child is struggling with the effects of the early childhood trauma they have endured in their short life. The adoptive parents are struggling to find the right help for their child. The child's behaviors are severe. More than most parents can handle. The system that was so eager to have these parents adopt, now has no services to help keep this family together. The system is broken and the parents are forced to relinquish the child they so love. The child is subjected to more trauma and looses their forever home. This is a poem I wrote about that broken promise.

A Broken Promise

A young child with many hurts so deep

Praying at night for a family to keep

A Mom and a Dad working their hands to the bone

Waiting for the day to have a child of their own

Finally a special child that they get to meet

Worried about what to say when they greet

A child with hurts so incredible and deep

All that matters to all is a family to keep

Finally the long awaited adoption day is here

The family is formed with love so dear

The past trauma ongoing and painful for all

Then parents are told there is no one to call

The parents struggle to help their child to heal

Looking for solutions they can beg, borrow or steal

The system lacks resources and is broken at best

The parents continually trying to keep a safe nest

The family is broken with no where to turn

The child must leave their home they soon learn

The trauma for all is now so deep and unreal

Leaving all with a lifetime of hurts to try and heal

A family that started out with so much promise and hope

Is now dissolved without even any strategies to cope

Without the proper resources, a family who adopts a child with early childhood trauma is doomed to not be able to provide what the child needs. This sets the child and family up for failure.

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My First Blessing

"Stinker Poo" is my oldest daughter who was my only blessing for 14 years. She had to endure being raised by a single parent and put up with all of my crazy yearnings for another baby. She is very quick witted and has never ceased to amaze me with her humor. She has a love of reading which definitely did not come from me. She has always taken her education seriously and worked hard at learning. She graduated high school as Valedictorian, got her BS from Texas A&M and her Master's from Univeristy of Texas at Dallas. She is currently teaching full-time and is working on her PhD. She is married and has followed her love of learning and teaches. From the day she was born she inspired me and she continues to be my inspiration each day.

My Second Blessing

"Bubba Doo" is my oldest son and the blessing I was afraid I would never have. After a miscarriage, failed third marriage, 13 unsuccessful inseminations and a failed legal risk foster placement I was thrilled to be able to foster Bubba Doo for his first 30 days of life. What started out to be a 30 day foster care stay turned into a six month stay. I was able to adopt him when he was 8 months old. He is the miracle that I thought I might never have. He is a joy to be around, loves hockey and football (especially the Utes) and always has a smile on his face.

My Third Blessing

"Ya Ya" is my youngest daughter. She has the same birth mom as Bubba Doo. I was so thrilled to learn that after so many years of wanting another child that I would now have two more children. Ya Ya had a rough start and had to overcome health and developmental delays. She has an incredible internal strength and I have learned the most from her. She has taught me to view life differently and to realize what is really important. She loves Littlest Pet Shops and Justin Bieber. She continues to amaze me with her strength and fortitude.

My Fourth Blessing

"Bugga Boo" is my youngest son and my baby. He was born at 36 weeks and weighed 5 lbs 13 ounces just like his oldest sister. He also shares Bubba Doo's and Ya Ya's birth Mom. I never in a million years anticipated that I would ever get a 4th blessing. Bugga Boo is a very smart boy. He loves Legos, transformers and building things. He can be quick to anger but also has a quick wit. Of all my blessings, he is the funniest and I never know what will come out of his mouth next. He has taught me that there is always room to love one more and I cannot imagine my life without him.